Second Remission

Anyone reading this is interested in the results of my latest bone marrow biopsy.  The good news is, according to the printed results, I'm in remission.  Apparently I'm not just in remission.  I'm in remission with no detectable minimal residual disease.  The last time I was in remission the morphology exam detected <1% leukemic cells and the flow cytometry exam detected 3% leukemic cells.  This time there was no detection of leukemic cells noted in either report.

What does this mean?  I don't know.  Emily and I will visit with a physician to discuss options tomorrow.  In all likelihood the plan will be to head for bone marrow transplant within the next few weeks.  All of the studies I've read suggest that even with no leukemia detected you're better off continuing treatment or having a stem cell transplant.  That's what I'm planning to have, a stem cell transplant.  We'll see what the physicians have to say tomorrow afternoon.

That's all of the interesting news.  Hopefully there will be more detailed and firm information tomorrow.  There's a lot more to share but it would only serve to confuse my dear readers if I were to share it now, before the details are in stone.

The past several days have been great.  I apologize for not posting.  I was writing a post yesterday when I first saw the flow cytometry report come in.  I deleted what I had written and waited for the morphology report.  The data has left me thinking for the past day.

Everything else: I'm less tired now, which is very nice.  My blood is playing strange games, neuts rising and falling.  Max and Jonas seem to be doing well, they continue to be great kids.  Emily is as beautiful, helpful, and thoughtful as ever.

The past year and five months has been strange, difficult, and increasingly surreal.  As necessity is the mother of invention, this experience continues to necessitate my reinvention.  While transcending once perceived limits I feel untethered.  Despite the sense of freedom, capability, and willingness to roll the dice, I desire nothing more.  For nineteen years I have wanted only what I have.  It is an interesting juxtaposition of sense and desire.  I've done well.  I know this because I'm happy with what I have, what I have done, and whatever might happen.  Can anyone hope for or believe in something better than happiness?  If so, I've not been convinced of it.

The picture of the day is Max and Megan ensorceled by a stream.  The song Row, Row, Row Your Boat has taken on an entirely different meaning for me over the past year.  Whenever I see a stream I am reminded that life is but a dream and it should be enjoyed merrily.  Hobbits have the same effect, no idea why.